May 1, 2017

John Nova Lomax's - "Truthful" Houston Street Names

If you aren't following John Nova Lomax on Facebook, why the hell not? John is one of the most interesting posters to FB. Lots of original content, music notes, and humor. Recently he did a post called "If Houston streets were given truthful names we would have:"

And he, his friends, and I chipped in with some suggestions. Enjoy!

Fire Ant Lane
Tree Roach Circle
Grackle Place
Raging Bayou Boulevard
Pit Bull Mix Street
Boulevard of Trash Trees
Pothole Speedway
Lol "Hundred-Year" Floodplain "Heights" Drive
8-Liner Highway
La Avenida de las Cantinas
Strip Club Row
Lazy Couch Terrace
West Mount Mattress
Your Neighbors Suck Blvd.
Dumped Tire Mountain Lane
Mosquito Drive
Stray Dog Chase
MS 13 Turf Blvd.
Stickiest Land
Hotteststickiest Lane
Opossum Place

(A whole suburb of streets with names like): Zika, Chikingunya, Dengue, West Nile and Malaria

"Head north on Sludge Street, take a right onto Rancid Avenue, go over Toilet Paper Bayou, and then a left and you can't miss it"

Raccoon Row
Artcar Avenue
Sofa Street
Pothole Place
Brookvalleygreenglengulley Road
Inexplicable Chow Dog Avenue
Flaming Vehicle Row
Ghost Bike Parkway
Roadrage Road

Lomax Lane

Developer Daughter's Lane (or wife or relatives)
Orange Cone Row

Suggestions for Telephone Road:
Clip Joint Row
Happy Endings Blvd
Icehouse Alley
Oaks of Orgasm Gentlemen's District

Camino Chupa Cabra
Kush Korner
Purple Drank Drive

Flor de Jose Campos Torres
Avenida de los Colchones
Hobo Haven
El Camino de Caca

(and a possible winner here): You're Totally Not Going To Save Any Time Cutting Through This Neighborhood Instead Of Staying On That Main Road No Matter How Backed Up It Is Drive

Commuter, Don't Let The Sun Set On You Here Blvd.
Dante's Inferno Way
Heap-O-Humid-Hades
Skeeter Street

Trans Fat Alley (John notes: "already in the vernacular of locals for that strip of Ella just north of 610 that includes a Taco Bell, Raisin' Canes, McD, and Carl's. All are next door to one another and it's tricky making sure you are in the correct drive-thru because they all use the same red/yellow color scheme)
Lardass Alley
Carbo Corner

(Elgin:  a a possible second place winner) Eastheimer
(Fairview) Mantrose
(San Felipe) We're Smug Natives So We Know How To Say It Street
(San Felipe) White Privilege Way



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